University.

Yes I’m well aware that it has been a while but give me a break. The semester times at UNSW is strange and I’m still adjusting to a new routine. I’ve only just found some time writing this post (read: procrastination).

So obviously, I too will join the horde of bloggers choosing to post about their uni experience. I hope to make it regular so that I can come and review it later when I’m older with a sense of ‘The Good Old Days’ as opposed to ‘Regret that I didn’t Record it Down because I now have some kind of Mental Illness that stops me from remembering the Good Old Days’. (Hopefully, I will not return to old posts with a sense of embarressment as one does when one reviews old journals.)

Anyway, it’s kind of clear that uni was a huge step away from High School and because I mentally prepared for this, I didn’t have the the same adjustment issues like some of my peers, for example, those who were unaware where their rooms were and the kind of workloads expected at uni. I’m also feeling mildly smug at having prepared for the extra workload because now I get to watch other people scrambling to explain to annoyed bosses why they can’t do that extra Sunday shift.

I also got a pretty good deal in terms of my lecturers and tutors, although I have copious amounts of my classmates complain that some were boring. Admittedly, I have a high tolerance for boring activities and so, am not quite used to examining boredom at a realistic level but seriously, it could be worse; you could have a boring AND crap lecturer/ tutor. Furthermore, it is not the lecturer’s or tutor’s reponsibilty to teach you, most don’t have those kinds of qualifications so of course they’re going to be sub par in comparison to our High School teachers.

In order to deal with this boredom, I recommend finding amusement in the little things. For example, in my Accounting lecture, I enjoy listening for the obnoxious mature age entry female student make snobbish comments about how everything is to easy for her and thus embaressing herself. In our first lecture, after successfully answering the lecturer’s question, she proceeded to give a long, unneccessary explanation about why she chose acccounting and how she used to do accounting much to the discomfort of the lecturer who clearly wanted her to shut up.

Additionally, to solve the travel issue that I am forced to endure (as I have to catch the South Line and catch the bus), I like to watch drivers in the morning and afternoon behave recklessly, that is, watching trucks turning left in front of the bus when they are three lanes away from the appropriate exiting lane (and also having passed said appropriate lane). However, I still haven’t gotten over the overall appalling state that cityrail keeps its trains maintained (they’re disgusting and lack airconditioning) and its timetables (if I miss my train DURING PEAK HOUR, I have to wait 20minutes for the next one).

There’s also the issue with the rate of which the material is being taught. Since I have done Eco and Legal at school, I’m having no issues with my Eco and Legal class right now though despite having done reasonably well in Maths Ext 1 in school, I do want to metaphorically stab QMA in the face.

And as my final point, I naturally have to make some kind of comment about the weight of my textbooks as I am an only child who according to my friends (and mother) has recieved the ‘Princess Treatment’ her whole life, although I have quickly gotten used to the weight (BTW, if you’re reading this, thanks Li for always offering to carry my stuff.)

Miss Tran.

I have a lot of posts that I want to write about and I do have plans to do them at some point. It’s just that I have met my downloading quota and so, going to new sites confuses my internet connection which results in my computer freezing.

Ok, so the post I want to do now is about tutoring and for many, many Asians, this would no doubtedly bring back painful memories of Chinese/Vietnamese classes, pre-selective tutoring and pre-HSC tutoring from Pre-Uni, James An or if you’re from Hurlstone, Dr. Truong.

I have also joined the ranks of being a tutor and like most people, largely for the reason that it is essentially easy money. However, unlike my peers, it’s not private tutoring for HSC students but instead I was hired by my old tutoring centre to teach small children, that is, Yr 1 and Yr2.

That’s right, after years of complaining about tutoring and doing every thing I could to avoid it, I am now inflicting myself onto small children in order to earn some money despite believing that Yr1 and 2 are far too early to actually be tutored and would never do this to my own children. And yes, that is my morals being flushed down the drain.

However, I have been learning from this job as a tutor and have a much more deepened understanding of education.

From this experience, I am more confident that education really is the only factor that will influence you as a person and that a teacher who pays a little more attention to you can really make a difference.

I have also been overwhelmed with two emotions: a sense of appreciation for my old high school teachers from the sheer amount of work, marking and effort involved in my own education and allowing me to be where I am today; and a sense of arrogance that they, unlike me, were dealing with high-schoolers with attention spans longer than peas who could be controlled with reasoning and threats as opposed to being bribed with food. (This does not include my Legal Studies class in which the teacher essentially brought us food every week).

This arrogance of course, does not extend to my primary school teachers who were in the same position as me and thus, still have my respect. Except for my OC teacher who was an ass and had never had my respect in the first place and from this experience, I have been forced to conclude that he is still, an ass, because he is an incompetent moron who was too blind to realise that Primary school children should not be learning Advanced Algebra but just wanted to suck up to the Principal.

Lastly, I’m a little embaressed at my audacity to consider a career in teaching in the event that my UAI was too low given the fact that I am physically exhausted after a three hour session with the little brats. It is clear that I do not have the capabilites of being a teacher and that I should just stick with easier tasks like completing a Commerce degree.

Why would you do this to me?!

Holy crap, applying for UNSW was hard. I thought everyone was exagerrating when they said trying to get a timetable was stressful but clearly they weren’t. First of all, I couldn’t log in because the cookies in my system prevented me from doing so but since I was unaware of this, I managed to lock myself out of my account twice (the second time due to unreliable information given to me by the first woman).

Then my internet connection died on me halfway so I had to wait till Tuesday to call Student Central to see if this effected my application (it didn’t thank God). I managed to finish my application and decided to wait until later to enrol (I don’t want to enrol in a subject that had nothign to do with my subject) however, I was warned that many people would take up the popular classes first.

And because this is Vivien, naturally, I have a slightly awkward timetable because ‘Legal Environment in Commerce’ is surprisingly popular. I was unable to get a nice timetable’s like Maggie’s as I had applied for a timetable way too late but it’s still pretty good; I mean, I have no night classes and any night classes would drive my mum to an early grave from worry. But nevertheless it’s pretty decent.

Tim also had multiple problems and even went to BoredofStudies.com to ask for help on the forums. However, he was merely laughed at and mocked, with other members noting that the University Application Process should be a mandatory test to eliminate the stupid, incompetent people.

BTW, my degree is Bachelor of Commerce. I’d like to know what other degrees people got

Honestly, it didn’t sound like that in my head!

I actually don’t have a post ready for today so I thought I’d just explain to you how my mind works.

I’ve been told by a lot of people that I’ve got a natural knack for remembering trivia and for being able to socially regurgitate them when required.

When somebody brings up a topic, my brain does this automatic search for topics that I might know about in order of most relevant and most fitting so that I can contribute to the conversation and so I have this tendency to blurt out offensive or irrelevant topics. You know when you google something, it brings back sites that are kind of relevant to your needs and then orders them to how well they fit your descriptions? My brain behaves in a similar manner.

Also, I have a nasty habit of taking things literally, if I’m not concetrating on the conversation. For example, at Morgan’s party, she asked me if the cake her mum had baked was the best I’d ever had. My brain then subconsciously formed a list of all the tasty cakes I’ve ever eaten and mentally placed ‘Morgan’s cake’ at like third. And so, because ‘Morgan’s cake’ was not the ‘best’ I’d ever had, I then replied with a blunt no.

Talk about awkward.

It’s the end of an era.

I don’t think I write enough for people to actually care but it has been a while since my last post. Perhaps the TimSun Post Syndrome is more infectious than I thought. However, as today is an important symbolic stepping stone in my life, I felt it warrants a post, albeit a relatively short one.

Today I recieved my HSC Certificate in the mail, certifying that I, Vivien Tran, have officially finished my high school education. It contained an award, a piece of paper detailing the subjects I have completed and more paper for each HSC subject that I completed. Nothing exciting but this is the last documents I will ever recieve that is High-School Related. From now on, it’ll just be University Related documents and as anti-climatic as today is, it’s still an important stepping stone in my life that I have completed.

“You’re growing up now…” said my mum sadly.

“You’re not going to be cute anymore.”

About time!

Today marks a very important time in my existence. It heralds a dawning of a new time in my life. My outlook on life is different, more mature, more rational, more careful. I haven’t drank or taken drugs or failed an exam but I have finally tick that box in the list of ‘Teenage Actions’  as I have officially scratched my parents’ car.

It wasn’t that bad I mean, it’s not as if there’s a massive dent on the side of the car. It’s a little scratch that occured when I misjudged the distance between my car and the pole (no ‘typical female/Asian/young people’ comments here please). And frankly, I’m surprised that this didn’t happen sooner as it’s been a year since I’ve taken up my L’s/.

My dad was ok with it, he merely chastised me for not being able to measure distances while turning the wheel. My mum on the other hand told me that I should have been more careful and that I’m inexperienced with driving.

I have to say, I found that comment kind of offenseive considering it came from a woman who accidentally reversed the car into our new garage and doesn’t believe it’s important to adjust the side mirrors so she can measure her position on the road correctly. It’s true.

Political Perving.

I’m not too sure how to react to this new piece of information.

It’s sad that Obama can’t enjoy a private family holiday with his children but then again, he does look kind of hot.

Oddly enough, the same incident occured when pictures of a shirtless Vladimir Putin was released by the Russian government in an attempt to improve Putin’s PR with his female voters. It worked. Furthermore, a side effect of this picture being released has meant that Putin is now an unwilling gay icon.

Now, in Obama’s case, it’s quite clear that it’s not a publicity stunt given the fairly grainy quality of the photo. But concerning Putin, there are a number of evidences that make it clear that Putin was posing for the camera as discussed in various sites (i.e. Putin holding the rod at a funny angle, being shirtless in Siberia etc) but I really couldn’t care less. What I want to know is, how did political leaders being sex icons, when did they become sex icons and why did I miss it?

Screw Antoinette! I want my cake and to eat it!

I love my parents and those who are friends with me will know this. They’ll hear the little anecdotes about my parents’ oddities and the enormous contrast in parenting abilities (e.g. my dad’s and mum’s treatment of money but more on that in another post) but very rarely do they hear actual complaints (although I am a teenager so I have the right to an occasional bitch about my parents).

So apart from the occasional hormone-fueled temper tantrum, the relationship I’ve had with my parents through my teenage years have been fairly stable because they’re reasonable of my deplorable Western quirks and I’m tolerant of their old-fashioned Asian outlook. They were pretty ok with my refusal to study science in Yr 11 and 12 as long as I was sure I wouldn’t have a sudden change in heart (and for an Asian this is a big step) and they didn’t really mind my stubborn decision to not go to USYD (and once again, please take into account the fact that I’m in an Asian family).

However, despite the blinding differences in my parents behaviour, what they do have in common is that they’re both very protective of me, I mean, the cotton wool I’m wrapped in gets the royal treatment. This normally leads to frustrating blocks on my social life but because I can see from where they’re coming from we can usually negotiate or I just accept it (and the contrasting parenting means that usually, one of them will side with me which means all I have to do is persuade the other parent).

But sometimes, this over-protectiveness is really frustrating and even when they let me have my way, the overwhelming guilt I suffer from means that I end up feeling like I’ve just sold my soul even though I know I’ve done nothing wrong because I’ve made the right decision and that my parents’ wishes are based on irrational fear of what would happen to me if I experienced the outside world.

Now this isn’t conclusion isn’t based on somehing like ‘my parents wouldn’t let me stay overnight at a friends place so I’m going to go cut myself’; it’s actually a lot more serious than that, even beyond the standards of what the typical teenage girl classifies as ’serious’. For example, my parents were using every guilt tactic that they could think of so that I wouldn’t be inclined take any scholarship that ‘forced’ me to do an internship (like Co-Op and BAcc) because they felt I couldn’t handle the pressures of studying and working as I’m too delicate and sickly and used to the good life my parents have provided for me.

Admittedly, they have a point; I can count on my hand the number of times I’ve actually done anything housework-related (and I’m not using that phrase just to exaggerate my princess treatment – it’s true!!) and I haven’t actually had any real exposure to society (i.e. working) as I’ve lived my entire life by proxy. But I feel that the internship is something that I can handle or at least will learn to handle and that my parents should just be happy that I was offered a scholarship that would almost guarantee me a job before I left university and expose me to some of the most brightest people in the state!

Mum, Dad, I’m glad that you’ve never pressured me to do anything that I didn’t want to do just because you felt it was the ‘correct path in life’. I’m really appreciative of that fact that your alway proud of what I’ve achieved and that you’ve never set the bar up too high; I’ve heard too many horror stories from my friends about how their parents reacted to a minor change in values or goals. But seriously, please please please! be happy that I have this scholarship and stop acting as if I’ve just signed my own death sentence. I’m nervous enough as it is.

Why can’t you be like normal parents?!

Everyone’s going to do this…

Ah the obligatory HSC post. What would we do without you? I’ve yet to read any other HSC-related posts but I’m assuming it’ll be a rollercoaster of emotions of disappointments/happiness and the possible listing of subject marks if they are actually good enough to be brag-worthy. And by brag-worthy, I mean good enough by Selective school standards and not just good enough by your own standards because these marks are not meant to make you feel better, they’re meant to make others feel crap.

Overall, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by my marks and I think my parents were too. The comments of ‘can’t you lower your standards down to 80 uai’ is still to close to home to ensure that I’m not going to refrain from inducing smug-like behabiour onto my parents. But I love them anyway – they have been the rock throughout the rocky times of my 13 years of education and because they have been more or less incredibly supportive of my academic ability, this has meant my achievements have been celebrated and my failures have been comforted, not punished.

I’m fairly confident that I can get the course I want judging from my marks and the UAI calculator (which has been gospel to so many desperate Asian students not wanting to disappoint their parents with a measley 97.8 uai) so that in itself has made my day. I am kind of hoping I can get the scholarship but because I’ve been shortlisted, this would require a lot of wishing that OTHER people do miserably and I don’t want my success to be built on the opportunities of other’s failures but rather my own achievements if that makes any sense at all.

Despite my results, I’m kind of dreading the whole ‘comparison of results’ behaviour which is going to be all I’m going to hear for the next two months. Not that I feel that my results are not up to par but just that after 13 years of petty competition, I really want it to stop. I don’t want comparisons or mock sympathy that has stemmed from a tone of ‘well I suppose if you’re happy with that mark that’s good enough but I’ll never set my standards that low’. Or even worse, the suppressed glee that results from a peer performing worse than you do. By all means feel proud of what you have achieved but not at the expense of others.

Furthermore, these conversations tend to act as a springboard for others to go on and on about how they didn’t study as much and how they really were so lucky that they were able to get such a mark and omg i can’t believe my good fortune and your mark was pretty good to but i cant believe i was able to get this mark…

However, before I am seen as bitter (or worse, hypocritical) I do want to genuinely congratulate those who were able to get what they want or better and share my sincere comfort to those unable to do so. Tomorrow, when we get our UAI results, it will be the last moments of our High School lives and I think it would be best if it was finished off with happiness or a renewed determination to improve on what we have as opposed to extreme disappointment.

Does it feel like Christmas to you?

I have to say, the xmas trees and the decorations in the stores and on my neighbours’ houses mean nothing to me this year. My eyes glaze over the Christmas sales and even the obnoxious xmas music of ‘Deck-the-bloody-halls’ goes through one ear and out other. It’s only when someone explicitly mentions xmas-related subjects i.e. wishing me a merry xmas, asking me about me about my shopping, etc that I then go ‘Oh that’s right, it’s Christmas’.

And don’t worry, I haven’t been infested by ‘the Grinch’ Syndrome; I’m all for Christmas cheer but to me, this year didn’t have that bang to it the Christmas holidays normally bring into our lives. When Christmas comes along, I’m normally suppose to get excited because it presents yet another opportunity to demand more books, DVDs and other miscellaneous items (I want long socks and brightly coloured stockings this year) off my parents; things I can’t normally get without being reprimanded of my wasteful, Caucasian-influenced spending habits because no actual Asian spends like I do.

Maybe it’s the whole US subprime market crisis thing that has caused my inner Asian to explode out of its shell and induce never before seen stingy spending habits and immense worry for the financial conditions of my parents and thus make me care a great deal less about Christmas, especially the more materialistic side of it.

Or maybe it’s because I’m not religious and I really don’t care that the 25^th of Dec welcomed our saviour, Jesus Christ into our mundane lives (or as a friend’s brother-in-law pointed out, the 25^th of Dec welcomed the greatest conman in existence into our mundane lives).

And the hyped-up ‘chance to spend time with your family’ just irritates me slightly because if you have to wait for this one day of the year to spend time with your family, clearly they meant very little to you in the first place (unless there are long distances between your loved ones and in that case, please make use of this time).

Is anybody else feeling like this or is it just me?